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There are a lot of things written and said about
mothers and rightfully so, for mothers are very unique and special people,
and if it were not for a dear mother none of us would be here. Mothers are
choice daughters of our Heavenly Father and are deserving of all of the
love, honor, and respect that is due unto them. With that being said, let
us not forget that fathers are also very special people.
Whereas
mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children,
fathers
are to preside
over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to
provide the necessities of life and protection for their
families.
I would like to take just a few minutes to address
the sacred topic of fatherhood and the divine role of fathers in the Plan
of Salvation. By virtue of the Priesthood of God and by the power of the
Holy Ghost, fathers can and should be the greatest influence for good in
the lives of their wives and children. Every father should rise to new
levels of leadership and service in his home. Every young man that is not
yet a father should prepare himself for this calling in this life and in
the eternities.
Concerning this matter of fatherhood, President
Howard W. Hunter gave this important counsel: “We encourage you
brethren, to remember that priesthood is a righteous authority only. Earn
the respect and confidence of your children through your loving
relationship with them. A righteous father protects his children with his
time and presence in their social, educational, and spiritual activities
and responsibilities. Tender expressions of love and affection toward
children are as much the responsibility of the father as the mother. Tell
your children that you love them.” (Howard W. Hunter, “Being a
Righteous Husband and Father,” General Conference, October 1994; see
Ensign, November 1994, p.51.)
In latter-day revelation, when the Lord spoke of the
great doctrine pertaining to the redemption of little children through the
atonement, He declared: “But behold, I say unto you that little children are
redeemed from the foundation of the world through mine Only Begotten;
Wherefore they cannot sin, for power is not given unto
Satan
to tempt
little children, until they begin to become accountable before me; For it
is given unto them even as I will, according to mine own pleasure, that
great things may be required at the hand of their
fathers.”(D&C 29:46-48) From this we can
clearly see that fatherhood carries with it the responsibility of ensuring
that their posterity—the future generation, is prepared for the age of
accountability.
The most important way that fathers can ensure that
their children are prepared for the age of accountability is by bringing
“them up in the nurture
and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). Fathers,
working with their wives as equal partners, are to train up their children
in the way that they should go so that when they are old they will not
depart from those things that they have been taught. (See Proverbs 22:6).
I stand as a living witness that these things are true and I am eternally
grateful to have been raised in a home with both a father and a mother who
adhered to these very principles. I am thankful for a father and a mother
who did their best to establish a family that was maintained on the
principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, and
compassion for one another.
Similar principles were taught to the children of
Israel
as found in the sixth chapter of the Old Testament book of Deuteronomy,
verses 4 through 9 and 20 through 23:
4
Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God
is
one
LORD:
5
And thou shalt love the
LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy
might.
6 And these words, which I command thee this day, shall
be in thine heart:
7
And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy
children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and
when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou
risest up.
8
And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand,
and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.
9
And thou shalt write
them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy
gates.
20
And
when thy son
asketh thee in time to come, saying, What
mean
the testimonies, and the statutes, and the judgments, which the LORD our
God hath commanded you?
21
Then thou shalt say unto thy son, We were Pharaoh's bondmen in
Egypt
; and the LORD brought us out of
Egypt with a mighty hand:
22 And
the LORD
shewed signs and wonders, great and sore, upon
Egypt, upon Pharaoh, and upon all his
household, before our eyes:
23
And he brought us out from thence, that he might
bring us in, to give us the land which he sware unto our fathers.
Here in these
verses the Lord tells the parents that they could not safely assume that
the instructions that He had given them as well as all of the miracles
that He did for them were going to make it from one generation to another.
He instructs them to tell their children how He moved among them. They
were to talk with their children about the instructions and commands that
the Lord had
given them and why He gave them.
This was not to be a one-time event but was to be a daily part of their
responsibilities as parents.
In the same fashion, fathers have the responsibility
to daily shepherd their families through the principles and ordinances of
the gospel, qualifying them for the salvation that is in Christ. Salvation
is a family affair and fathers are called to lead the way by: (1) teaching
the doctrines of salvation in their homes (D&C 68:25-28), (2)
providing for the temporal and spiritual needs of their families (Mosiah
4:14-15) and (3) lovingly presiding in righteousness in
their homes consistent with the principles of righteous priesthood
service. President Ezra Taft Benson once said, “God established that
fathers are to preside in the home. Fathers are to provide, love, teach,
and direct.” (Ensign, May 1984, p.6.) President Benson also stated,
“Fatherhood is not a matter of station or wealth; it is a matter of
desire, diligence, and determination to see one’s family exalted in the
celestial kingdom. If that prize is lost, nothing else really matters.”
(Ensign, May 1981, p.36.) President Lorenzo Snow taught that “If you ever
secure a union in any family in Zion, . . . you have got to bind that
family together in one, and there has got to be the Spirit of the Lord in
the head of that family, and he should possess that light and that
intelligence which , if carried out in daily life and conduct of these
individuals, will prove the salvation of that family, for he holds their
salvation in his hands.” (HC, 4:309.)
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In teaching the principles and ordinances of the
gospel in the home, a father must be careful not to create any misconceptions
about the Heavenly Father. He must always teach by the
Spirit. “For
when a man speaketh by the power of the Holy Ghost the power of the Holy
Ghost carrieth it unto the hearts of the children of men.
” (2 Nephi 33:1.)
The following parable of three fathers illustrates how
a father could create such misconceptions and how he can easily avoid
them.
A parable is
told about 3 fathers who each felt the soft hand of his child in his own
and realized the responsibility of teaching his child about
God.
One felt the
awesome responsibility that was his, so he taught the child about the
power and might of God.
As they walked
down the pathway of life and came to the tall trees in the forest, he
pointed up to them and said, “God made them and God can cause them to come
crashing down anytime He wants to.” As they walked in the hot sun he said,
“This is God’s sun. He made it and He can cause it to be so hot and so
intense that the plants in the field will wither and die.”
Again and
again he hammered home the power of God and how the child must be obedient
to God. Then one day they came face to face with God, and the child hid
behind his father, afraid even to look, refusing to put his hand into the
hand of God.
The second
father also realized his responsibility to teach his child about God.
Hurriedly, he tried to teach all the important lessons that he
knew.
As they looked
at the trees they only stopped for a moment to gaze at them. As they
looked at the flowers of the field they hurried on by. He told stories,
but they were hurried and crammed together. He filled the child full of
facts, but he never taught him how to live or love God. Finally, one day,
at twilight they came face to face with God, but the child only gave God a
casual glance and turned away.
The third
father felt the touch of a tender hand in his and adjusted his steps to
the tiny steps of the child. They walked along, stopping to look at all of
God’s beauty and grandeur.
They walked in
the fields and picked the flowers. They felt the delicate petals and
smelled their fragrance. They watched a bird in flight, and another
building her nest and laying her eggs and sitting on them until they
hatched. They watched all of the beauties of nature while the father told
the child stories about God over and over again. Finally, one day in the
twilight they saw the face of God, and without hesitation, the child
placed his hand trustingly into the hand of his Heavenly
Father.
One of the best examples of
fatherhood is our Father in heaven. One of the best illustrations of
this is found in the story of the Prodigal Son. I want us to notice a few
characteristics about the father of this Prodigal Son. First, he was the
provider of his family and stood answerable to God for the well being of
his family. In the same way, fathers need to realize that they are to be the providers of their family and
they stand accountable before God. In 1Timothy 5:8 we read these words,
“But if any provide not for his
own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith,
and is worse than an infidel
.” Second, he
provided an inheritance for his children. In Proverbs
13:22
we read, “
A good man
leaveth an inheritance to his children’s children. . .” A good
father wants to leave an inheritance for his children – both physically
and spiritually. Third, he recognized his son’s right to choose his own
path. Perhaps one of the hardest things for a parent to do is to let their
children make their own decisions. Our Heavenly Father allows us to choose
our own path and if we choose the wrong path we must pay the price. The
prodigal son went as far into sin as a person can go. He had wasted his
inheritance and now found himself sitting in a pigpen eating the scraps.
He finally realizes that there is a way out of the mess that he had gotten
himself into. He arose and started for home. There he found his father
waiting for him with open arms. Wayward children always need to know they
can come home. Fourth, this father was the priest of the family. He
pointed the family in the right direction. He led the family in worship.
When the prodigal son came to himself he remembered his father and most of
all knew that his father still loved him. Today fathers need to be the
priest of the home, giving spiritual guidance and love. Fifth, he prayed
for his family. Fathers need to pray for their family. When the prodigal
son came home his father was watching for him. He had been interceding in
prayer for his son to return home. Sixth, he did not condemn or judge his
son. He had compassion on his son. He was thankful that his son had come
home and honored his return with a celebration. He restored him back to
the family as a son rather than as one of the hired servants. And seventh,
this father loved his children equally. He did not show favoritism between
his two sons. He loved his older son who had chosen to stay with him. Even
though the younger son had wasted his life, his father still loved him and
did not hesitate to welcome him home. Regardless of whether a child
chooses right or wrong, he or she still needs to know that dad loves them.
Our Heavenly Father loves us even when we do wrong and when we repent His
arms are open wide to receive us and to restore us without grudge or
hesitation.
May I
close my remarks with a word of counsel that I have shared with several
friends about what it means to be a father? This counsel is based on my 48 years
of life experiences and observances, and some of the counsel given to me
by my own father through the years and some of the things that he taught
me and I know to be true. This counsel is for all those who are now
fathers and for those who will one day be righteous fathers in
Zion.
My dear brethren,
Just because a male
is biologically able to help create a new life, that in and of itself does
not
make him a father, nor does it
rightfully entitle him to the honor of bearing the title.
Before one can call themselves
a father they must be willing to take on the responsibilities of being a
father and demonstrate through their
love
,
devotion
, and
commitment that
they are ready to do those things which a
FATHER is
called
to do.
Being a father is more than going to
work and putting food on the table, providing shelter, and providing all the other necessities of
life. A tremendous part of being a father is being there - in the
good times as well as the bad, when the sun is shining its
brightest and when the storms of life are raging
all out of control.
Being
a father means that you are the Patriarch and the Priest of your home. You
are the literal mountain that your children run to for comfort in times of
difficulties and heartaches when they feel that there is nowhere else for
them to run to.
A father
does not place the burden of carrying all of the cares and woes on the
mother, but realizes that one cannot do it alone, but together, as father
and mother, they can conquer the world.
A father shows his children that he loves their
mother, that she is his equal, that she is indeed the queen of their home
and deserves all the honor, love, and respect that are due her.
A father is also a leader. He
doesn't just tell his children what to do, but through his example,
through the righteous life that he lives, he teaches his children how to
do things the right way. He is there when they make mistakes and stumble
and fall as they will and picks them up, dust them off, and starts them on
their way again.
A father does
not expect perfection because he himself realizes that he is not perfect
but is forever in the process of striving to become perfect. He himself,
even with the wisdom of all of his years realizes that he is still but a
student in the school of life. There are many more things that he himself
needs to learn.
I am truly grateful for my
earthly father and for all of the time, love and patience that he gave me
during the 48 years and 1 month that we shared together here on earth as
father and son. He truly helped mold me into the person that I am today. I
am thankful to have had a father that prayed daily for me. I am thankful
that even in times when I may have totally blown it, he was always there
for me. I always knew I had a home to go to and that he would be there to
welcome me. I guess that you could say that in some ways my dad was one of
biggest heroes. I am also eternally grateful for a loving Heavenly Father
that guides my footsteps along life’s pathways. He is the very reason for
my existence and I love Him dearly. That I may one day through the
righteous example of my earthly father and with the help and guidance of
my Heavenly Father become a righteous husband and father in
Zion
is my humble prayer in the sacred name of our Lord and Savior
Jesus the Christ.
Amen.
Note: The Sacrament talk
entitled "Blessed Is The Man Who Is Called Father" was delivered on
Sabbath Day morning,
17 June 2007, Father’s Day, and the Sacrament talk entitled "Called To Be A Father" was
originally delivered on Sabbath day morning, 24 June 2001, Father's Day, and revised
on 17 June 2006. Both talks were deliveredto the congregation of the
Annapolis Maryland Ward of the Annapolis Maryland Stake of the Church of
Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. My father passed away at
the age of 71 on 20 November 2006. Both talks were
combined into this one message on Tuesday, 26 May 2009.
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